You Don’t Have to Be Pretty Like Her

“You Don’t Have to be Pretty Like Her / Be Pretty Like You” is my new favorite quote.

I found this quote because I was feeling bad about myself and I wanted to find something to inspire me otherwise. I tried to find the original author so I could properly quote them. Most search results said the author was Anonymous, but I did find one result that said the original author was a YouTube/Instagram influencer named Desi Perkins. Just in case that’s true, I want to give her credit for it.

See, I had wanted to post a cute photo of myself to Instagram and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it because I lacked the confidence in how I look. I had a goal this year too, of trying to improve my confidence in my appearance because I already knew it was in a slump due to all my lifestyle changes during lockdown, and I posted about it here. I’m at 0% with making any progress on this goal.

So before all our snow melted today, I dressed-up a little bit and tried to take some cute pics in the snow. I seriously took HUNDREDS of pics. And when I reviewed them afterwards, I hated every single one of them. I kept finding imperfections with myself like:

  • I have a double-chin
  • There’s a shadow over my face
  • My smile is creepy
  • My braid isn’t over my shoulder like it’s supposed to be
  • I have closed fists
  • That spot of sunlight on my face looks like a huge cystic zit
  • I am grimacing
  • My pose is awkward
  • I look too short
  • etc, etc, etc

This literally happened with every.single.pic I took.

And my confidence truly took a beating from it.

Below is a glimpse into what my camera roll looked like. And I was unsatisfied with each one, for a million different reasons.

You Don’t Have to be Pretty Like Her / Image Source: Pepper V.

I know exactly why I do it too. Because I’m on Instagram alot and I see amazingly gorgeous pics of other women all day long. And instead of telling myself that “you don’t have to be pretty like her”, I compare myself to them and I start telling myself that I can’t compete. There’s no possible way.

But why is it a competition to me? Just because other women are beautiful, doesn’t mean I can’t be beautiful too. We are all unique in a variety of ways, and striving to look exactly like everyone else doesn’t highlight our uniqueness at all. And maybe it’s our uniqueness that is beautiful.

How do I stop comparing myself to them then? I don’t know how to stop unfortunately, so I don’t have any words of wisdom to share with you. But at least I know that’s my root cause. Do any of you have this issue too? How do you deal with it?

And that’s when I started searching for some inspiration otherwise to help get me out of my funk, and I found the quote: “You don’t have to be pretty like her. Be pretty like you.”

Maybe if I keep saying enough times, I’ll start to believe it. 🙁

6 Replies to “You Don’t Have to Be Pretty Like Her”

  1. I think this is something we all do! If only the camera could take a picture of our personalities! But instead we wait for that perfect picture so everyone sees a beautiful picture. So you are not alone. We need to strive for a goal of feeling good about ourselves, staying fit, eating healthy, achieving our goals and hope that we start to see ourselves beautiful inside out❤️

  2. I just want to reach through the screen and give you the biggest hug. I honestly feel like I was looking into my own life while reading about yours.

    Honestly, your photos look just fine from this vantage point, but I get that to you, they don’t. I do the same. Photo after photo after photo, and it just somehow isn’t good enough.

    That quote is awesome, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to borrow it for a future post. Full credit given back, of course.

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