Lol anyone else in this same situation? Where their mother-in-law hates them? I see this on Dr. Phil occasionally and I relate so hard because this is my life.
But yes, my mother-in-law HATES me. I’m not even exaggerating this for effect.
And the worst thing for me, is that 1) my husband is an only child so there are no other kids or grandkids to help distract her. And, 2) we are in the exact same city – we live literally 10 minutes away. And, 3) she has no friends or hobbies so there is nothing else for her to do all day. This is my trifecta of hate.
But I think it all boils down to… Me and her have nothing in common. Which isn’t bad by itself, except she’s just hateful about it and frames all our differences as if there’s something wrong with me.
The biggest issue I think, is that she was a stay-at-home mom and her main responsibilities revolved around keeping the home clean and in-order and cooking every meal from scratch for her husband and child. And that is her ideal standard for being a wife/mother.
And that’s just not me. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with me and her having different paths in life, except she’s constantly belittling me and trying to make me feel less-than for my different lifestyle.
I work full-time. And my main responsibilities are to work, and then to make sure my daughter is thriving. So when I’m not working, then I’m interacting with all my daughter’s needs, such as soccer and gymnastics and school studies. And she’s very active with all her extracurriculars so we stay quite busy.
I don’t make ANY meals from scratch. I don’t pick-up after anyone else in this home. I only pick-up after myself. I don’t have time for anything else. My daughter picks-up after herself. All the mess and clutter in the home that my MIL nags AT ME to take care of, is exclusively due to my husband – HER only child. So I don’t believe this is my problem.
Look. I don’t like my home being cluttered either. But her nagging at ME about it won’t solve the problem. The problem is so bad, that my husband actually keeps his overflow clutter (the clutter that I won’t allow in our home anymore because it is too excessive) in his own mom’s garage. She parks outside in her driveway so my husband can keep his excess clutter in her garage yet she thinks that I’m the problem. How crazy is that?!
She comes over for every single holiday. EVERY SINGLE ONE. And ruins every holiday for me. Every one.
She’s coming over for this-coming Mother’s Day as well. And we make Mother’s Day all about HER. I spend every Mother’s Day cooking her favorite meal (but not from scratch) and I listen to her complain about how she would make it better because she would grow her own green beans in her own garden and then can them herself, etc… She’s also particularly mad that I buy store-bought pies for these meals instead of making homemade pies. And she doesn’t like anything spicy so I have to make it all taste bland so I don’t enjoy it.
Sigh. See how all my holidays get ruined by her?
And it’s not much of a factor anymore since my daughter is in elementary school now, but prior to school, my daughter was in daycare all day because I was working. And my mother-in-law was so incredibly hateful to me because of that. Saying I needed to be home with my daughter during those years and I was being a neglectful mother. And I was the cause of her being sick all the time (she did have terrible allergies), etc…
That was about the time when I stopped caring what she thought of me and I stopped worrying about impressing her. How she treated me during that time was unforgivable. All she did was insult me over everything she didn’t like, BUT never lifted a finger to actually help anything. She really hasn’t changed much since then either.
So, I tolerate her. And that’s about it. I don’t buy her any cards or gifts for Mother’s Day. I just make a bland meal that she’ll say she hates but still comes over to eat. And she’ll fume at me that HER son keeps the house cluttered.