Vent Post

I am so sorry but this is going to be a total vent post and I hate these too so I am sincerely apologizing in advance but I’m about to crack and I need to get this out of my system.

And I’m drunk right now too and I’m so angry because I quit drinking 2 years ago because it was a problem for me, and now I’ve started again so I’m also upset about that. But I really can’t deal anymore. I cry everyday now.

I need to get out of this house with my daughter. I hate it here.

My husband’s adult son has moved back home full time and quit his college and basically they go out drinking together every night and they BOTH treat me like a SERVANT for them in this home.

They literally ignore me all day except to ask “what’s for breakfast?” “what’s for lunch?” what’s for dinner?” and “we’re out of sweet tea can you get more?”

I cannot remember the last time I’ve had a break long enough to nap and they’ve napped all day long today except to eat.

My daughter is dealing with a chronic illness at this point and they don’t even help me. Per doctors orders, she’s supposed to be on a strict high-electrolyte schedule, and it was time for her pedialyte this morning and I found that those 2 adult men drank all her pedialyte because they were hungover and I had to make the 1 hour round-trip to the grocery store because they wouldn’t get up.

I asked my husband to take my daughter to another doctors appt for me bc I had a work conflict, and he BERATED me and verbally abused me for not managing my time better so I could do it all myself. I literally take her to 2-3 doctors appointments every week since last August between her dizziness and her foot injury and physical therapy AND I work full time and he spends all my money. Maybe he’s taken her to 3 appointments in this whole time.

He had a party at the house last Friday. My daughter was literally crying from pain and dizziness and discomfort so I stayed with her in our bedroom during the party. My husband later verbally abused me for being antisocial and RUDE when his friends were over. Some of his friends brought their wives over and he was upset that I didn’t entertain the wives so the guys could have their own time. So stupid.

And that damn treadmill!!! (The treadmill that doesn’t even work, remember?)

Per doctors orders, my daughter is needing daily high-intensity exercise. I paid for a (used) recumbent bicycle for her so she’s still able to exercise even when she is dizzy – which has been the case everyday since March. I told my husband that he needed to get rid of the treadmill finally so the bicycle could go in that place. Well, he didn’t.

And, he told me today that he’s NOT going to get rid of the treadmill after all because he doesn’t want to deal with it. So now I have exercise equipment in 2 rooms of the house instead of 1.

I found some high school kids that will remove that treadmill for me for $100. I’ll gladly pay it to finally get rid of the darn thing but I am SO ANGRY that my husband doesn’t help me. There are literally 2 ADULT MEN IN THIS HOUSE that refuse to help me at every opportunity. But they consume everything I have. All my money, all my energy, all my groceries, all my daughter’s pedialyte, everything.

Tonight, I made dinner. Enough for 4 people. My daughter was having a rare good day so she was outside playing with friends and I was waiting for her to eat. My husband and his son had TWO helpings of dinner EACH before my daughter came home at dark. There was not enough dinner left for me or her. So we ate cereal and Ritz crackers for dinner.

I’m so angry. I want OUT of this situation.

And I’m so upset that I started drinking again but I can’t take this anymore.

13 Replies to “Vent Post”

  1. Deep Breaths! This is hard. I’m sorry you are going through this. But you need to hang in there for your daughter. She needs you. Can you find resources around you to help you at this time? Do you have a buy nothing group in your hood? Maybe ask if people are willing to help with meal trains. If being in the house is impacting your mental health is there some place you can go with your daughter for sometime. Is there a place like SAFE place you can go to for help? Maybe a church? Look around you.. there are helpers. Let them help you.

    You don’t need to do anything for these grown men. Let them starve if they have to. Take care of yourself. Don’t let them break you.

    I know this is easier said than done… but hang in there. I hope things get better! Hugs!

    1. Thank you so much for the super-fast support! I’m crying right now bc I feel so alone and your comment was exactly what I needed to hear! You are definitely a helper and I agree with everything you are saying. My daughter and I are going to go out together tomorrow to regroup. We’ll take care of each other. I am so appreciative that you took the time to comment. It means so much to me.

  2. I hate the thought of divorce, but you’re entirely right to feel the way you do. This makes me angry. I wish you could work things out, but there’s only so much you can do when one person doesn’t want to change…

  3. Hi. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this – your feelings are completely justified. You need a support group around you that can rally for you and get you through this. Is there a way to find one? I can understand how heavy it must feel to deal with all this by yourself. I’d be just as frustrated.
    Sending healing wishes for your daughter. ❤️

    PS: I think you should pay the students to get rid of the treadmill. It’s going to keep bugging you till it’s in front of you. Plus, it’ll be a great way to get back at your husband by getting rid of it without his knowledge. (I’m petty)

  4. Sigh…. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this horrible family situation. You’re totally right to feel so angry for being treated this way and to not receive help and having your daughter’s needs neglected by your husband. Praying you get reprieve and mercy and discernment concerning your next steps. Bear hugs…

  5. So sad! Really you are going a tough way! It happens sometimes in our life but please don’t drink take care of yourself and daughter because she needs you. Everything will be okay. Don’t give up please.

  6. Oh Pepper, I’m so sorry! I will be praying for you to know what to do and what outcome to seek and how to accomplish it. “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5)

  7. Whoa. This is a lot to go through. It’s a lot a lot. I agree with the lady on the first comment who said do not continue to cook for those men. The more you can remain calm and honest with them the better this will go, but they need to hear these complaints straight from you. They won’t like it, but they need to hear the truth. He’s needs to know he has to do his part to save your relationship.
    I’m sure you’ve already told him this stuff. You as a person cannot be expected to do everything. I hope he listens. If he doesn’t, you keep doing whatever you have to do to keep yourself and your daughter taken care of, without all the extra for the non contributors.
    I’m so so sorry you are going through all this.

  8. Pepper after reading this I was left feeling powerless….what words do I have that can help?! For a time I had problems with alcohol and spent time in the rooms of AA. There was so much power in surrendering to God’s will. I was powerless over alcohol and so many parts of my life to include my 16 year marriage that was falling apart. Anyways something prompted me to take a look at a book my sponsor gave me called A Woman’s Spirit – here is a message from today: I will ask God to help me with the easy as well as the hard decisions I face today. Relying on God will make my life more serene. Pepper your not alone in this, you are loved unconditionally. You just have to ask. Sending you all the good there is and a big hug! 🙏❤️🤗

  9. I’m so sorry.. this sounds deeply upsetting… No one deserves the way you and your daughter are being treated :(…. I hope the situation changes for you sooon! Thinking about you!

  10. That’s wrong… so horribly wonrg. Your hubs is being an arse and if he can’t be the supportive man he needs to be then what the fuck is he still doing in the house. What a pair of arseholes!

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