Pepper Valentine

I’ve slowly and surely been adding new blogs that I find to my WordPress Reader so I can easily see them again when there are updates.

But there are certainly key things that make me add blogs to my Reader, as well as key things that make me avoid adding them.

I definitely exit as fast as I can if the blog takes a long time to load or a ton of ads pop-up in my screen. Lol I just don’t have the time for that. And it might be a myth, but I’m incredibly paranoid about computer viruses and getting hacked and I always associated slow pages and tons of pop-ups with higher risks for that. So I just stay away.

I also stay away if the blog is heavily sales-oriented. If every paragraph is a sales pitch with non-stop links to amazon throughout it’s entirety, then I do lose interest almost immediately.

However, the subtle sales pitches don’t bother me. You know, where the post is mostly informative or storytelling and the sales links are embedded quite naturally into the content – that works for me and it actually impresses me when it’s done that well.

I also enjoy content that is very interactive, where there are alot of comments afterwards because I do enjoy reading all those too. I’ve found comments to be just as informative and entertaining as the original post.

I also get lured in by visuals. Blogs with a good mix of visuals included within their posts do catch my attention better than others and I tend to go back for more.

What do you all think about blogs that you find? What makes you follow them or exit them for good? And, where do you find your new blogs?

I used to find new blogs to follow on social media, mostly on Facebook. But I’ve lost my taste for those. Of course this is a blatant generalization that I realize doesn’t apply to everyone, but the blogs I find on Facebook seem way more interested in increasing their follower counts and site visit counts than on any authentic interaction. And I simply just don’t have the time to weed through most of those.

So now that I’ve been soured about finding new blogs on Facebook and social media, I’m wondering where else would be a good place to find them? How do you all find your new blogs to follow?

One thing that works much better for me than Facebook, is when a blogger I enjoy posts about all the blogs that THEY enjoy. It’s like, a personal reference. And usually, they’re spot on! A recent post by Happy Panda is the perfect example of this. I couldn’t be any happier when a blogger does this. 🙂

I would LOVE to find a blog directory somewhere that is managed via personal references only. That way, the people only interested in spamming, and playing the numbers game, don’t get included. And nobody has to filter through them anymore. Also, blogs that are spammy or slow or stuffed with advertisements won’t get included either because it’s very exclusive directory that focuses on quality over quantity. Does something like this exist? If not, we all should start one. Let me know if you want in! 🙂

Well, I cut them out of my life. As much as possible.

Remember that lady I had an issue with last year? The lady that wouldn’t stop sending me gifts via the mail even after I told her to stop. I posted about it here and here if you wanted a refresher… Well, she’s back.

Actually she never really went away for me. I did completely stop replying to her in every way shape or form, but she’s still been texting me this whole time. I’d get random “Are you there?” or “Are you ok?” and even one guilt-trip text of “No matter how busy you are, if you really care about someone, you’d be able to text them back.”

But I stood firm and never replied back. I’m trying to eliminate every reason possible for her to interact with me, and engaging with her won’t achieve that.

So here’s her Twitter account… and I guess this is her way of apologizing to me. Although, it sounds like I’m not the only one she’s done this to. I’m most likely one of many, is how this reads to me.

But I don’t accept her apology because she’s completely clueless as to MY personal issue with her. I’m not ghosting her because she sent me a ton of unsolicited gifts that I didn’t want, nor because I had to pay postage due on some of them when they were delivered, nor because there are reciprocity pressures that I put on myself regarding gifts, etc…

All those reasons above are very easily forgivable. I’ve already done it. Forgiven. I don’t spend another thought on it anymore.

…but my issue with her that I cannot forgive is that I very clearly communicated to her TO STOP. I did not sugar-coat my words, I was very clear. STOP. And yet, she did not stop. I continued to receive these unwanted gifts. She basically ignored a personal boundary I had, and proceeded to continue to overstep it. There’s no justification for that.

So that’s when I decided to cut her out of my life and end all mutual interactions with her.

I simply don’t want any sort of relationship with people that don’t have respect for others’ boundaries. It’s really that simple. I believe it to be a character flaw, usually attributable to narcissists. And one thing that I truly believe about narcissists, is that once they discover a personal boundary, they obsessively push it until it breaks. They don’t stop.

And I learned that lesson the hard way from personal experience.

My coworker/stalker did the exact same thing with my boundaries. I’ve blogged about him before. He’s the guy that I had to avoid at work here and the same one that bled all over my desk and got away with it here. He was definitely a narcissist and whenever he discovered a boundary of mine, he pursued it relentlessly. And it would continue to escalate. He would never stop.

He used to always nit-pick at my work which was ridiculous because we were in separate departments and my work was completely unrelated to his work. I stood up to him and told him to stay out of my work business where it doesn’t affect him, and it escalated to the point where he would start nit-picking at my work in company-wide meetings in front of leadership, purposefully to embarrass me.

At the time, my daughter was 3-4 years old and he started joking about how he was going to date her when she turned 16 just because it would piss me off. I stood up to him then as well and told him my daughter was off-limits and he wasn’t to say another word about her. Did he stop? Absolutely not. It escalated to the point where he was taking selfies of himself outside of her daycare.

So, I have absolutely zero tolerance for people that don’t respect others’ boundaries. I’m not very forgivable when it comes to that particular characteristic.

What do you guys think about this lady? Am I being too harsh on her? Would you be able to forgive and have a friendship with her?