I’ve been working in the corporate world for a longgggg time. And one thing I’ve learned is that you NEED an office bestie to survive. Your mental health requires it. This bestie could become the only thing you look forward to at the office and everyone needs that one thing. Otherwise, it can become a miserable existence there and that’s a LOT of your life you are spending miserable. Life’s way too short for that.
You won’t realize how important this office bestie is to you, until you need them. I actually didn’t come to this conclusion until I myself became the target of a toxic office, and everyone except this one person turned their backs on me because they chose their career over a friend. Most people will probably make that same choice. But when you find that one person who doesn’t, they deserve so much appreciation for it.
[My intro post about my toxic office experience is here, in case you missed it…]
This bestie will be important to vent to, to ask advice from, to make you laugh, to goof off with, to keep company while eating or breaking, etc. Basically, you won’t feel alone there bc of this person.
But while your office bestie can help you survive the daily grind, they can simultaneously have a crippling effect on your career goals. So you must be very careful who you choose for this. Some things to look out for:
1) That they are trustworthy. They hear all your venting, which isn’t anyone’s best moment. If they share any of that with others at work, you are in jeopardy of being seriously misconstrued and targeted as a squeaky wheel.
2) Their “side” in the toxic office. Are they a target of the toxic office? Or are they a part of the toxic office? Bc you’ll be lumped in with them, so choose wisely. This is where you do have to choose either your friendship or your career, because I don’t believe it’s possible to maintain both.
3) That they aren’t a higher position than you. Even a well-deserved promotion will be disputed by your peers when they know you have a friendship with a higher-up. And their cooperation going forward will be much harder to come by.
4) Marital Status. Here’s the thing, if you and your office bestie are the opposite sex, regardless of whether or not there is any intimacy after-hours, the office gossips WILL loudly proclaim that you two are most definitely an item. Are you willing to accept such gossip? If the both of you are single, then the gossip might not be a big deal. But if either of you – or both – are married, then this gossip can be devastating and you would probably be better off choosing a different office bestie.
And there’s probably a few more tips for this I could share with you. But these are the top 4 for sure. Do you have any tips regarding this you’d like to share? 🙂
i agree that it is important to have an office bestie but to choose wisely!
This is so true! I learned this lesson the hard way! 🙁
These are definitely good tips worth remembering!
Thanks Simon! If I come up with any more tips I’ll add them for sure! 🙂
I had a female office bestie at an old job. We were both married. That didn’t stop one coworker from assuming we were a couple.
It is inevitable that this assumption will be made by coworkers. No exceptions. 🙁
Definitely wisdom speaking here. The office can be a very nasty place and the men are about as bad as the women now with the gossip
Absolutely true about the men gossiping just as bad as the women. Everyone does it. 🙁
Yeah office gossips 👀👀
I totally agree with what to look for in a office bestie.
Great tips. Accomplished have a union where you worked? And did you contact the police about the stalker. Wow, I can’t believe how HR turned a blind eye to what the guy was doing. So sorry this happened to you
Thank you for your comment. There was no union for me. And no, I didn’t go to the police bc of how this issue was so intertwined with my job. I was scared of losing my job at that point basically, and my family couldn’t afford for that to happen. With HR not supporting me, I was pretty much convinced that I would be terminated if I escalated the matter any further. 🙁