I’m Expecting Another Disasterous Thanksgiving

So I know I’ve been flooding you all with the issue I’m having with my daughter’s health. Still no update there unfortunately.

In addition to that, the holiday season is approaching. It doesn’t stop when you’re having issues. So now I’m expecting my holidays to be way more stressful and awful that usual. 🙁

For example, I just placed my order for our holiday Thanksgiving meal with a restaurant that offers this and it is DELICIOUS. All I have to do is pick it up Wednesday and reheat it all in the oven on Thursday. You’d think that sounds simple enough right?

Except my mother-in-law HATES me for it. Like, if HATE had a physical manifestation, she would have so much of it that it would literally ooze out of her by the gallons.

She believes that meals (especially holiday meals) should be homemade, because she used to spend an entire week prepping in the kitchen for Thanksgiving and anything less than that is not acceptable. And she’ll spend the entire meal telling me so.

But I have several problems with that: 1) I don’t have the skillset, 2) I don’t have the time, and 3) I don’t WANT to.

Another thing she does at Thanksgiving that ticks me off, is that she’ll sneak me $200. EXCEPT, the purpose of that money is that I’m supposed to buy my daughter Christmas presents with it, then wrap it all up and label it all from my MIL. So SHE gets all the credit for the gifts but I actually did all the work!

Her reasoning for this is that I would know best what my daughter likes and doesn’t like and what she already has, etc. So I should do it all.

But again, I have several problems with this: 1) She just outsourced all of her work to me, 2) I don’t have the time, and 3) I hate wrapping Christmas gifts even more than I hate buying them.

So basically, I’m expecting another Thanksgiving from hell for me. She ruins ALL my holidays. I’ve never had a decent one because of her. 🙁

19 Replies to “I’m Expecting Another Disasterous Thanksgiving”

  1. My entire life, we had homemade Thanksgiving dinners, often with large gatherings of relatives. Some of my favorite childhood memories are 15 to 20 of us at my mom’s aunt and uncle’s house.

    When I first started doing Thanksgiving with my wife’s parents (we go to mine on the weekend, as they’re more concerned that we’re there on Christmas), they went out to a restaurant. And now, my parents have done the same thing multiple times.

    Everyone survived. It was just fine.

  2. It’s so hard to do a simple holiday when your surrounded by traditionalists. At some point you should be able to do things your own way. Sorry you are having such a rough time Pepper!

  3. Oh Pepper, I’m so sorry! In my house, my husband and I have a deal. He stands up to his mom and I stand up to mine. Moms always love and forgive their children, even if they won’t do the same for their children in law. If a mom needs a good ‘put in her place’, it really should come from her own offspring. Will your hubby not step up for you on these things? If not, a good discussion about boundaries may be in order. All of these conversations are hard, but worth the trouble in the long run. If you’re miserable for the holidays, chances are, the whole family is too.

    1. You are so right, Mamalava! And your deal with your husband sounds awesome! But my husband won’t stand up to his mom, ever. It will be a lost cause if I push it. And MY parents are pretty amazing so there’s no reciprocity necessary from me. 🙂 But you’re correct, he could resolve this if he wanted to. I guess he just doesn’t want to. 🙁

  4. Oy I feel for you! I feel blessed to not have to deal with terrible in-laws… I’ve heard some horror stories!

    May I suggest you just tell her you’re going to deposit her 200$ into your daughters education fund? And if she doesn’t like that then she can get her a gift herself with a list you’ve provided her! Hmmf 🤔😏

  5. We will have a simple Thanksgiving with just 5 people. Christmas is our tough one with three different family things we have to attend on my wife’s side of the family. I did enjoy the one thanksgiving when we went out to me at instead of cooking.

  6. Bloody hell. I don’t like to speak rude of anyone but come oooon, this isn’t cool. It’s bad enough to make you feel guilty for ordering food instead of making it, let alone getting you to buy gifts for her grandkid on her behalf. Maybe just give the 200 bucks to her as is, save yourself the hassle of finding things so MIL can take the credit? She’ll still have things to open on Christmas from you so it’s a win-win. Fuck what the MIL says if this is making you miserable, and it certainly sounds like it is. It’s your house, your life – she’s a guest and she should be respectful. Maybe she’s the sort who haven’t had someone stand up to them before. She won’t like it, but it’s not fair what she’s doing. You’ve got enough on your plate worrying about your daughter let alone anything else. xxxx

    1. I love how you rant about my MIL – you do it even better than I can! I love it all! Just the validation from others that she’s awful makes me feel a little bit better about it. THANK YOU! {{BIG HUGS}}

  7. I feel your pain. I had a MIL who’s much like yours except now she is an Ex-MIL and I marvel at all that I did because she wanted me to do it. I’m grateful I’m released from her, but I understand your situation. It would have never been ‘allowed’ for me to not cook the full meal ever so I am proud of you for standing up and doing it your way! Yay You! As for the gifts, ugh. I’ve been there and done that too. Good luck today. I’ll be thinking of you! May it all go smoothly!!

    1. Oh my gosh! I am so jealous that you are FREE from her! It’s definitely a stress for me and she literally ruins EVERY.SINGLE.HOLIDAY for me for the last 15 years. That’s a long time to be miserable during the holidays. That’s awesome you don’t have her ruining any of that for you anymore. So cool! 🙂

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