I really don’t.
Just seems like every move I make is the wrong one.
I used to check up on him every day via text. We are remote friends so a physical welfare check isn’t possible. But the texts were always perfunctory and not easy to establish a decent chat over.
Me: Just checking in on you… How are you today?
Him: I’m ok.
Me: ok, anything I can do? Want to talk?
Him: [no response]
And that’s how it’s been for MONTHS now. So I’ve kinda stopped reaching out on a daily basis, bc it didn’t seem to be helping anything. But when I don’t check-in daily, then I get a worrisome text from him instead.
So last month, when I skipped checking in daily I got THIS random text from him: “You realize that I’m researching how to kill myself, right?”
Sigh. No, I didn’t realize that bc he’s not really communicating with me.
So I resumed checking in on him daily but again, it doesn’t really seem to facilitate any conversation and it also doesn’t seem to be helping anything. He’s always the same.
This weekend I lapsed checking in on him bc it’s very tedious and I don’t understand the point if he’s not talking to me anyway.
And I wake up this morning to THIS text from him that he sent around midnight while I was asleep: “I guess being sad and depressed doesn’t mean much to you.”
I immediately text back: What do you mean? Are you ok?
Him: [no response]
But I know that he read it because my phone shows me when my texts are read. So he’s just ignoring me. Which I feel is kinda rude considering how much time I’ve spent reaching out to him.
Anyhow, I don’t know what else to do. I think I’ve decided that I’m not going to initiate any more texts with him. If he needs someone to chat with, he can reach out to me and I’ll respond. But I’m not initiating anymore. I’ve done enough of that and he’s not being very nice to me in return. Maybe I’m completely enabling him.
But I also feel guilty for thinking that way. What if he really needs to feel that someone is checking in on him? And without that, then he gets worse? Am I being a bad friend for stopping that?
Ugh. I really don’t know what to do. Have you all been in a similar situation? What would you do in my shoes?
This really just stinks.