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I’m taking all next week off work and my only goal was to NOT bring my work laptop with me.

And… Now it turns out I’ll be bringing my work laptop with me.

See, there’s a big presentation on Thursday that I’ll miss because of vacay. And so, my plan was to complete the PowerPoint for it yesterday and let a delegate present it for me. This was an awesome plan and I could’ve left my work laptop at home.

Except I didn’t get all the feedback I needed on my presentation draft by yesterday. So it looks like I’ll spend some of my vacay on Monday chasing down the feedback I need and then finalizing the PowerPoint.

I’m kinda bummed because I hate going through airport security with a laptop. It’s just annoying and a hassle and I really didn’t want to deal with it.

So I’m a bit ornery over this whole situation. This always happens to me. I can’t recall a single vacation I’ve taken in the last several years where I didn’t have to bring my work laptop with me.

Welcome to reason #364 why I want to quit. 🙁

If anything, covid has made me feel incredibly insecure. About my life, my relationships, my friendships, my home, my health, my career, and my finances. Insecure about everything, really.

I have a generalized fear now that any or all of the above can be taken away from me at any time. With no warning or sufficient time to prepare. I used to believe that I had some form of control over all that, but no longer.

I realize that I’m incredibly fortunate that neither me or my husband lost our jobs during covid. We didn’t lose our income and I feel like we shouldn’t squander or waste such a blessing.

So I’ve been saving as much as I can and it’s been accumulating quite fast since we aren’t travelling, socializing, eating out, or spending as much as we used to prior to covid.

And it’s accumulated to the point where we need to make a big decision soon. We have no debt except for our mortgage. And we’ve had our mortgage long enough (forever!) that we only have 8 years left on it.

Prior to covid, I would have easily decided to take such savings and invest it in order to create a new income stream.

However, my new covid fear is making me want to pay off the mortgage instead. Because I’m so worried that one or both of us might lose our job, and then not being able to afford the mortgage anymore would jeopardize having a safe and comfortable home.

But on the other hand, since I’m so worried about one or both of us losing our job, then having an extra income stream might alleviate some of that fear. And I only have to power-through my fear for 8 more years anyway, as the mortgage would be paid off by then.

And at the same time, this insecurity is also pressing me to not touch those savings at all. Because if we do lose our jobs, then we’ll need those savings to pay all our bills and survive until we find another job, which could be months or years!

*sigh*

So I don’t know what to do.

Do you all worry about this stuff too or am I being a weirdo? I’m just scared overall. And I’ll continue to be scared no matter what I do.

I did absolutely nothing this weekend. And I loved it.

Typically, my weekends are jam-packed with chores and errands that I didn’t get a chance for during the week – such as grocery shopping, cleaning, picking-up the house, etc.

Also, my last several weekends have been busy with socially hanging out with people that have kids the same age as my daughter so she has friends to play with.

But I didn’t do any of that this weekend. And I fully enjoyed my small break.

I am starting to dread how behind I’ll be tomorrow and all the catching-up I’ll have to do this week. Ugh, that’s my payback I guess.

How was you all’s weekend? Get to relax like I did? 🙂

Soooo… I’ve just booked my first flight since covid happened!

And I’m a bit nervous about it, to be honest. I’m already a VERY anxious flyer to begin with (had a few scary experiences in the past to cause that). And while I’ve never had a full-blown panic attack on a flight, I have gotten close to that point. And I am worried that the mask requirement for the duration of the flight might tip me over the edge because one of my main issues while flying (bc of my anxiety) is difficulty breathing.

Don’t worry – I’ll follow the rules and wear my mask and if I do have a full-blown panic attack, then I’ll power through it. But I am worried about it.

Any guesses on where I’m going?! It’s a domestic U.S. location, but too far from me to drive. I’d also say that it’s a popular bucket list destination.

I don’t have a prize for anyone that guesses correctly, but you can have bragging rights for reading my mind!

How about you all? Have you been on a flight since covid happened?

I’m actually addicted to reality television and I’ve always wanted to be a reality tv star but my problem is: 1) I can’t sing/dance and have no other stage-worthy talents, 2) I don’t want to compete to date anyone (gross!), 3) I’m not a drama magnet, and 4) I’m actually quite boring.

Sounds like I might be out of luck then, huh? 🙁

But, I did find a show that might be right up my alley! I just found a new series called “So Freakin’ Cheap” and I’m totally vibing with it! It’s about extreme cheapskates that go to quite drastic measures to avoid spending money. And holy smokes I’m loving this!

To get more into the right mindset, I found the original series too called “Extreme Cheapskates” and binge-watched it all weekend long. And I’m intrigued.

These folks aren’t poor. They choose to live this way. And actually, one lady is a millionaire that eats $0.59 canned tuna for her meals and bums rides on private planes to avoid spending money. I could get used to that!

I’m definitely not as extreme as these folks are however. For example, I don’t see myself eating food out of dumpsters. Gross!

But I am certainly the type of person to calculate that it costs $0.12 everytime I open the garage door and then once armed with that info, I obsess over NOT opening the garage door unless absolutely necessary. I also have gone to embarrassing lengths to pick up a coin I see on the ground.

My family laughs at me because I do some weird things already that don’t cost me any money. For example, I save all the plastic utensils I receive with take-out orders. And I never have to actually BUY plastic utensils ever because my stash is so hearty. The same is true with condiments such as ketchup and mustard. I never buy any at the store because I use my single-serve collection instead.

Same with gift bags and gift tissues! I haven’t bought any in years bc my collection of those I’ve received from others is more than enough for me and my family.

I don’t know. Is all that weird? I just don’t want to throw them away since they keep being given to me for free! And then, I can’t bring myself to buy them at the store when I have a system that works at home!

Anyhow, I’m just really enjoying this new show and the ideas that it is giving me. Maybe I’ll be inspired to expand my cheapness into more areas. How about you? Do you have any habits that other people might consider “cheap”? Please share with me and maybe I can try it too! 🙂

Yesterday was my 1 year blog anniversary! Holy smokes, the time has just flown by! Seriously. Yesterday was also my birthday, but that’s besides the point as I’m much more excited about my blog instead.

I’m quite impressed by how far this blog has come in a single year. I started off as a complete newbie. And learned mostly everything via trial-and-error. I’m kinda proud that I’ve pulled it off and that I’m still hanging in there.

I’m mostly happy that I’ve found several folks now that I would consider my friends. I was so lonely when I started this blog. I had been working from home, and had no reason to ever leave my house again except for errands. And I was sad that I had lost touch with all my real-life friends. And now I feel like I have friends again. I’m so thankful for each and every one of you for that.

My first blog post was July 6 2020 and the link to it is here. Lol, and absolutely nobody saw it or read it or commented on it. We all know how that goes, right?

When I started this blog, I had no idea if it would last this long, or how it would evolve. But, it’s still growing and evolving and I’m excited to see where it’ll go next! See you all next year! Same time, same place! 🙂

Now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve been without a best friend ever since covid happened. That’s a long time to be without one. And I do believe that the absence of this person in my life is one of the biggest contributors to my negative mindset lately.

The reason why covid interrupted our friendship, is that work was the major facilitator of our friendship. We met for lunch at least twice a week (sometimes more) and then we met for happy hours after work at least once a week (also, sometimes more).

We used to work in close proximity to each other so this arrangement was incredibly convenient. We do not live in close proximity so we’ve only seen each other twice within the past year and it was an effort to coordinate.

But we used to talk about everything during these times! Every miniscule detail of our lives, we shared with each other. We laughed together, got angry and sad together, and gave each other support and advice. I never realized how significant this friendship was to me until it was gone.

And it’s gone now bc we both have to work from home, where there is no longer any privacy for us to chat with each other like we used to. For example, I can no longer confide in her any difficulties with my family and have her support me through it, when my family is literally at home in the same space with me all the time. And vice-versa.

So I do have that void in my life now. And it’s sad and lonely here.