Well, it’s finally happened. After more than a year of online privacy (which I treasured sooooo much), my online alias has been discovered and my anonymity breached by someone in my real life.
I’m not freaking out about it, don’t worry. And I won’t go dark and retreat like I did previously. Mostly because, I haven’t really posted anything too controversial that would cause much fallout in my real-life.
The biggest impact to me is the validated lack of trust I have for people in my real life to respect my boundaries. But this is a good reminder for me, so I remember to keep my walls up and guarded.
I know who this person is. It’s someone that’s done this to me before. And it’s someone that used the information they found out about me online to shame me and destroy all my self-confidence. And I had an online support system that I had to let go of too, because this person infiltrated them. It was horrible.
I’m just waiting for them to do the right thing and reveal what they’ve done to me. And until they do so… no trust from me. So far, they’re keeping it a secret. Probably because they’re hoping I’ll reveal something online that they can use against me. But that won’t happen.
Anyhow, let me tell you all how they did it. And I’ll have to add it to my previous post about “Ways an Online Stalker Can Find You”. This is a new way that definitely caught me by surprise! So let me inform you all and you can take any necessary precautions to protect yourselves.
They found me via TikTok. I was very careful to NOT provide TikTok with my phone number or email address when I created an account so nobody in my real life could find me there. BUT…
…there is a Privacy Setting in TikTok called “Users who open or send shared links”. And of course it was defaulted to ON (see screenshot below).
This person sent me a TikTok link via text because they know me in real life so they know how to contact me via phone and email. And I wasn’t being careful enough and I CLICKED on it!
And bam! As soon as I clicked on it, this person received a TikTok message “Pepper Valentine just viewed your shared link!” and DAMMIT! Now they have my online alias to EVERYTHING!
So that’s how my anonymity breach happened and how my online alias was discovered in real life.
The biggest lesson learned here – don’t trust people in your real life to respect your boundaries or your privacy. And also, don’t post anything online that you wouldn’t want to get out in your real life anyway.
Oh bloody hell. I don’t use TikTok and have zero idea how it works, but that default setting seems pretty dodgy. I wouldn’t have realised what that even meant so it’s rather sneaky. Clever way for someone to find your information online, too.
But for someone you know to breach your trust, to invade your privacy and even contemplate trying to use something against you is unthinkable. I’m not sure who this person is, how close you are to them, but I’m just very sorry it’s happened and I’m angry on your behalf. xxxx
Oh, I’m mostly angry too. The fact that this person has done it to me before makes me feel like this is very targeted. But I’m ok, don’t worry. Just angry.
Wow…
Hang in there
That sucks. Hope it works out OK this time and you don’t feel the need to disappear.
Thank you Tater. Don’t worry, I won’t disappear like I did before. For one thing, I haven’t posted any controversial so I can’t really get into any trouble. And secondly, I’m more strong-willed now. 🙂
Stay strong my friend. I used to be a “people person” too, but people just ruined that for me.
People have ruined pretty-much EVERYTHING for me.
Oyy this sounds like a plot in a very interesting novel! I’m sorry you know crappy people! Hopefully they do the right thing and keep it to themselves. Sheesh!
Oh gosh, you don’t even know the half of it! It would be a great novel or even a Lifetime movie! 🙂
Well, that sucks. There are so many options to turn on and off in these apps, it’s easy to miss one. I just got a new phone and am once again, having to find myself going through each item for permissions. It’s annoying.
It truly is annoying! And I think this one was newly-added because I went through all the Settings originally, and I never saw this one before. They added it in secret and defaulted it to ON. So terrible.
How awful! Who knew that people could be so insensitive and mean-spirited? I mean, I knew they could, but it’s just terrible. Honestly. I’m sorry this happened to you, but thanks for sharing so that we know what to look out for too…
Hi Yvonne! Yes, I’ve kinda lost all faith in people in my real life anymore – they’ve ruined “people’ing” for me. But you all here on the Internet are pretty cool! 🙂
We’re here for you Pepper…funny how those we don’t really know except through blogging understand us better than those we know in ‘real’ life. 🙂
Thank you Yvonne, I totally agree with you. I don’t feel the people in my real life understand me at all. I appreciate you so much! 🙂
Wow! You never know who your friends are anymore, do you? I’m so sorry this person betrayed you, Pepper. It’s one thing when an enemy gives you up because you expect it from them. Being betrayed by someone who’s supposed to be a friend is devastating. Know that we support you and we’re here for you. ❤💐
Oh gosh, these people are everywhere Cherie! And you’d never know it until they reveal themselves! I have a difficult time trusting people in general because of this. I feel alot safer and trusting with most of my online friends, like you. 🙂
Thank you, Pepper. That means a lot, sweetie. I have a few online friends, you included, that are truly special people! 💖🦋
That’s really bad, bad on tik tok and this person. What kind of person could be so … Vile
EXACTLY! You get it.
Oh yes… I do 🙂