If anything, covid has made me feel incredibly insecure. About my life, my relationships, my friendships, my home, my health, my career, and my finances. Insecure about everything, really.
I have a generalized fear now that any or all of the above can be taken away from me at any time. With no warning or sufficient time to prepare. I used to believe that I had some form of control over all that, but no longer.
I realize that I’m incredibly fortunate that neither me or my husband lost our jobs during covid. We didn’t lose our income and I feel like we shouldn’t squander or waste such a blessing.
So I’ve been saving as much as I can and it’s been accumulating quite fast since we aren’t travelling, socializing, eating out, or spending as much as we used to prior to covid.
And it’s accumulated to the point where we need to make a big decision soon. We have no debt except for our mortgage. And we’ve had our mortgage long enough (forever!) that we only have 8 years left on it.
Prior to covid, I would have easily decided to take such savings and invest it in order to create a new income stream.
However, my new covid fear is making me want to pay off the mortgage instead. Because I’m so worried that one or both of us might lose our job, and then not being able to afford the mortgage anymore would jeopardize having a safe and comfortable home.
But on the other hand, since I’m so worried about one or both of us losing our job, then having an extra income stream might alleviate some of that fear. And I only have to power-through my fear for 8 more years anyway, as the mortgage would be paid off by then.
And at the same time, this insecurity is also pressing me to not touch those savings at all. Because if we do lose our jobs, then we’ll need those savings to pay all our bills and survive until we find another job, which could be months or years!
So I don’t know what to do.
Do you all worry about this stuff too or am I being a weirdo? I’m just scared overall. And I’ll continue to be scared no matter what I do.