Pepper Valentine

We’ve all been at the receiving end of some good ol’ fashioned mom-shaming, right?

To be fair, I also vent about other moms. But I would never say such things to their face or where they could overhear me. I really would never want to hurt anyone’s feelings just for doing things differently from me.

So today, I dropped off my daughter at a pool she was invited to. When I arrived, the moms were gathered there and we exchanged pleasantries.

They expected me to stay and day-drink with them but unfortunately I could not as I actually had to spend my Saturday afternoon running errands – specifically groceries for the whole week, and I also had prescriptions to fill before the pharmacy closed because I was OUT.

As I was leaving, I could overhear them snickering. Whatever.

Fast forward to a few hours later and I just picked-up my daughter and she told me that the other moms were talking about me after I left. I figured.

They were saying stuff like – they have to pick up my slack all the time because I never participate in all the things they participate in – like, all the school fundraisers where the moms are soliciting for money all the time, and all the classroom activities like games and parties and decorations, etc.

So, I know I don’t participate in all these voluntary activities. But I do contribute by writing multiple generous checks to support it all. So I’m not a complete deadbeat.

I do work all day during the week, so I can’t be available for optional events at the school during that time. And because I work all day during the week, then my weekends (like today) is when I catch-up on what’s needed for my home.

I just don’t have the same amount of free time that they do. It’s kinda mean that they would snicker at me for that. Lol, if anything they should be feeling sorry for me and asking how they can help.

But I also think it’s unfair that I’m EXPECTED to volunteer my time because I’m the mom. All these kids have another parent too (biologically, at least), but there’s no similar expectation for the dads to participate in all these optional activities. It’s definitely a “mom thing” for sure and I don’t think that’s fair to me at all.

Anyhow, so that’s my vent today about other moms. So I do it too! :/

Has this happened to any of you before? You are asleep. You start to vividly “see” and “hear” things in the dark that make you want to move. But you can’t move. You start to panic about not being able to move. You try to turn away. You try to scream. But you can’t. You are literally frozen. And scared to death. And just when you think you can’t take it anymore… you finally physically break free. Shaking and sweating. And those sights and sounds are finally gone.

This actually happens to me. Not all the time, thank goodness! Maybe about once a year. I’ve googled it before and it’s officially called sleep paralysis where apparently you are partially awake while dreaming. Your brain is awake but your body is still locked in it’s dream-state which prevents you from physically acting out your dreams.

This blog post from “The Strange Ways” by Lenny Wall describes this experience much better than I can, and even includes the scientific and paranormal explanations of it. So definitely check it out if you want more information.

But that specific post got me thinking… My experience with sleep paralysis is always scary!

It’s always a demonic entity whispering to me. I never understand its whispers. I can see it slowly approach me. Sooooo freakin’ slowly. And the whole entire time I watch it approach me, I am frozen. Not able to move or scream, even though I am violently attempting to do so. And at the very end… when it’s at the closest possible point… it JUMPS at me! And THAT’S when I finally wake up!

And all the movies/stories about this are also always scary! The most recent movie I watched featuring sleep paralysis was “Mara” on Netflix and holy cow it freaked me out! Definitely don’t watch it unless you love horror movies.

But my major question is… Why is this experience always scary? Why can’t I be stuck at an all-you-can-eat buffet? Why not be stuck in bed with Zac Efron? Why not be stuck at Target with a $10,000 gift card? Why does FEAR make this happen?

What do you all think? Have you experienced this as well?

P.S. I can’t believe I posted this at bedtime. Now I’m thinking about it. Wish me luck tonight!

So we got a new kitten a few weeks ago, and what started as a very innocent search on Google ended up being WAY too informative. And yes, sometimes too much information is NOT a good thing.

What happened was… one night last week, the kitten was oddly being very sleepy. We were accustomed to it being a little tasmanian devil non-stop in the evenings, so this seemed quite weird to us.

And like we all do, I went to Google for answers and found a range of possible causes from everything’s fine / kitty is just tired to omg / kitty is dying! Thanks for all the help Google. *sarcasm*

But the REAL story is what happened next. Google had a section called “People Also Asked…” and listed out some more questions and answers that other people searched and I got sucked into it and couldn’t stop!

I couldn’t believe some of these questions like “Will my cat eat me when I die?” (the answer is YES btw) and “Why does my cat keep putting it’s butt in my face?” etc.

So I learned WAY too much about cats during that session. I feel like I know it all now.

And I can’t stop thinking about my cat eating me when I die – starting with my face! I wonder if it thinks about doing that now. I do catch it staring at me weird…

But it’s about to be 2 months since I last had my weird migraine headache! This is the longest I’ve gone without one ever since they started for me approx a year ago! I’ve posted about them before, so here’s one link for you if you wanted to check it out: https://peppervalentine.com/down-and-out-with-a-migraine/

I’m very happy about this, but also extremely worried that I’m about to be disappointed soon. I don’t want to get my hopes up. 🙁

I don’t believe I’ve discovered a magic cure or anything. I wish I did bc I’d immediately share with everyone! But I hadn’t done anything specific that I can attribute to improving this for me.

Anyhow, I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed that this pain-free living (feels so good FINALLY) sticks around!

I was one of those kids that used to dream about being famous. That used to be my measure of success.

I don’t even know why. My parents didn’t find anything impressive about fame and never encouraged it. They valued education and working hard in a more traditional occupation. So I grew up with them as my examples.

But I did get led astray and spent several years successfully being a stalker-fan and meeting some of my favorite celebrities and getting caught-up in that lifestyle. So I do have some interesting stories I can share with you all sometime.

I did out-grow that phase and now I have come full-circle and I’m completely aligned with my parents now where I no longer find anything impressive about fame.

Actually now, I even question if there’s anything attractive about being famous anymore? The world is completely different these days. You don’t need fame to become wealthy. Instead, fame seems to be much more of a liability now, where social media and cancel culture can make you lose it all in seconds.

With fame, everything you do and anything you’ve ever done is under a microscope. Your old social media, your emails, and even conversations you believed were private can be released for public consumption. And you subject yourself to a flood of nonstop toxicity and hate, where anything you do (no matter how neutral like playing with puppies) will receive verbal abuse online.

And life comes with ups and downs. It just happens. And I doubt any of us would like our downs to be broadcast to the world, and then have to endure the humiliation too.

So is fame even desirable anymore? I must say, I value my privacy so much and can’t imagine risking that for any reason.

So remember my post from a few weeks ago when I was fussing about my husband working from home ever since covid? And it was making me crazy? The link is here if you wanted a refresher…

Well… The update is that his work is making him go back to his physical office starting next week! And they dropped his raise from 20% to 10% due to all the inconvenience he caused.

Holy cow, I am so relieved! I don’t know how much longer I could survive being trapped in the house non-stop with him. To have a break everyday is exactly what I needed. Woohoo!

Now… I just need to wait-out getting the college kid out of the house too. He’s been home ever since covid bc his classes were all online this year. But starting August, he *should be* back on campus full-time instead! I cannot wait!

And my 10yr old daughter has been in school in-person this whole time anyway so she’s been out of house more than all the rest of us combined!

I have a light at the end of my tunnel now. I’m so happy! 🙂

FYI – my husband should’ve taken the 20% raise right off the bat. I hope he’s learned his lesson.