Pepper Valentine

Oh boy, I don’t know if you all have picked-up on the fact that I’m miserable working from home all day.

I think if I were alone at home all day, then it wouldn’t bother me so much. As I do believe that my primary issue is that my husband is ALSO home all day and I just wasn’t designed to be around someone 24/7 without a break for more than a year! It’s simply not my comfort zone.

My comfort zone is that whoever I’m living with… we do our own separate thing during the weekday (like, WORK) and have a few quality hours together in the evenings and the weekend. That’s a good balance that works for us.

But ever since covid happened, we’ve been home together non-stop. Every waking moment is together. Going on 14 months now. I’m not built for this. I’m burned out and I need a break. I physically CRY so often now because I need a break from this over-exposure so badly.

And I *might* get my break soon.

My husband has gotten his covid vaccine and his work is now telling him that he needs to go back to the office everyday!!!! Wooooo!!! I’m so happy about this I cannot wait I cannot wait I cannot wait I cannot wait!

They want him back at the office so badly that they even offered him a 20% raise to do so!

C’mon!!!!!! This is a no brainer, right?!!!!

But of course I have drama!!!!! Nothing can just be easy for me!

The husband is protesting going back to office. He’s turning down the raise AND insisting that they let him continue working from home full-time. Oh my gosh, I want to MURDER.

If he was really worried about covid, I can be sympathetic to that. But he’s not. He’s just using that as his excuse. He’s flat-out told me that he doesn’t want to go back to the office because then he “has to pretend to work all day”. And he doesn’t have to pretend that at home. That’s it. That’s his reason.

He KNOWS I’m miserable with both of us at home full-time. I hear him telling his friends that all the time so it’s not even a secret. And I don’t have a work office I can go to – I’m a legit remote employee. It’s not even an option for me or I would do it. But he’ll gladly keep me miserable, as well as turn down a 20% raise, just so he doesn’t have to pretend to work all day.

Ugh.

I’ll find out what happens soon I hope. I mean, his work is going to have to make a decision of some sort. But I NEED this. So bad. 🙁

Lol anyone else in this same situation? Where their mother-in-law hates them? I see this on Dr. Phil occasionally and I relate so hard because this is my life.

But yes, my mother-in-law HATES me. I’m not even exaggerating this for effect.

And the worst thing for me, is that 1) my husband is an only child so there are no other kids or grandkids to help distract her. And, 2) we are in the exact same city – we live literally 10 minutes away. And, 3) she has no friends or hobbies so there is nothing else for her to do all day. This is my trifecta of hate.

But I think it all boils down to… Me and her have nothing in common. Which isn’t bad by itself, except she’s just hateful about it and frames all our differences as if there’s something wrong with me.

The biggest issue I think, is that she was a stay-at-home mom and her main responsibilities revolved around keeping the home clean and in-order and cooking every meal from scratch for her husband and child. And that is her ideal standard for being a wife/mother.

And that’s just not me. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with me and her having different paths in life, except she’s constantly belittling me and trying to make me feel less-than for my different lifestyle.

I work full-time. And my main responsibilities are to work, and then to make sure my daughter is thriving. So when I’m not working, then I’m interacting with all my daughter’s needs, such as soccer and gymnastics and school studies. And she’s very active with all her extracurriculars so we stay quite busy.

I don’t make ANY meals from scratch. I don’t pick-up after anyone else in this home. I only pick-up after myself. I don’t have time for anything else. My daughter picks-up after herself. All the mess and clutter in the home that my MIL nags AT ME to take care of, is exclusively due to my husband – HER only child. So I don’t believe this is my problem.

Look. I don’t like my home being cluttered either. But her nagging at ME about it won’t solve the problem. The problem is so bad, that my husband actually keeps his overflow clutter (the clutter that I won’t allow in our home anymore because it is too excessive) in his own mom’s garage. She parks outside in her driveway so my husband can keep his excess clutter in her garage yet she thinks that I’m the problem. How crazy is that?!

She comes over for every single holiday. EVERY SINGLE ONE. And ruins every holiday for me. Every one.

She’s coming over for this-coming Mother’s Day as well. And we make Mother’s Day all about HER. I spend every Mother’s Day cooking her favorite meal (but not from scratch) and I listen to her complain about how she would make it better because she would grow her own green beans in her own garden and then can them herself, etc… She’s also particularly mad that I buy store-bought pies for these meals instead of making homemade pies. And she doesn’t like anything spicy so I have to make it all taste bland so I don’t enjoy it.

Sigh. See how all my holidays get ruined by her?

And it’s not much of a factor anymore since my daughter is in elementary school now, but prior to school, my daughter was in daycare all day because I was working. And my mother-in-law was so incredibly hateful to me because of that. Saying I needed to be home with my daughter during those years and I was being a neglectful mother. And I was the cause of her being sick all the time (she did have terrible allergies), etc…

That was about the time when I stopped caring what she thought of me and I stopped worrying about impressing her. How she treated me during that time was unforgivable. All she did was insult me over everything she didn’t like, BUT never lifted a finger to actually help anything. She really hasn’t changed much since then either.

So, I tolerate her. And that’s about it. I don’t buy her any cards or gifts for Mother’s Day. I just make a bland meal that she’ll say she hates but still comes over to eat. And she’ll fume at me that HER son keeps the house cluttered.

Fun times.

Everyone loved my first hypothetical question so much… Here’s another one!

A superhero like IronMan or SuperMan actually comes into real-world existence. Today. Would the world become a better place?

Oh boy. While I personally would be ecstatic for this to really happen, I think the real-world response would be quite the opposite.

I simply think that there are too many governments and too many people in powerful positions that would rally together AGAINST this superhero. This is someone that would threaten their ultimate control and their power.

So I believe they would either sway the superhero to be one of “them” or destroy the superhero. But neither of those outcomes would help to make the world a better place unfortunately.

What do you all think?