Pepper Valentine

Sometimes, not all the time, there are situations and instances where online friends are better than real life friends. This isn’t a true statement ALL the time, but there are many times where it can be true when you need it to be.

I do often get sad and lament how my real-life friends have let me down. But what I’ve noticed instead, is that in those moments, my online friends are the ones to come to the rescue. I am so appreciative when that happens, bc it makes me feel like I am no longer alone and that there are actually tons people in the world that I can turn to.

Now, I do love my real-life friends. I’m not trying to disrespect that at all. Just I realize, that real-life gets in the way of friendships sometimes. I posted previously about how covid messed-up my relationship with my best friend here, if you wanted a refresher. So if there’s an alternate way to achieve friendships where real-life can’t interfere, then I’d like to promote the benefits of that too.

So I wanted to create a list detailing the reasons why online friends are better than real life friends. Here’s my list I’ve come up with:

1. Physical appearance doesn’t matter. You can interact with online friends in your jammies, in your comfy tees with stains on them, or nekkid even. And any personal hygiene issues won’t even matter. Nobody online will know if you stink. 🤗

2. Confidentiality. If you pay attention to protecting your privacy online (as I do), then you can vent about your most private issues and still have trust that your secret won’t be shared. In real life, there are so many human interactions that are out of your control. For example, in real life if I vent about a coworker at work, even to someone I believe is my friend, the risk is still inherently high that my secret will get out. This risk still exists online so you have to be careful, but more of that risk is within your control if you protect your identity.

3. Just-in-Time Interactions. Sometimes you just need a friend. NOW. But your real-life friends have jobs and families and their own lives and you’ll have to fit into their schedule somehow and it probably won’t be NOW. Or anytime soon. Online friends also have their own priorities, but there’s a much better chance that when you cast your net online, at least one of them can be available for kind words or a listening ear. It might not be the same person each time, but odds are in your favor that someone will be available and will rise to the occasion and be your friend at the moment that you need.

4. No fake friendships. In real life, sometimes you just HAVE to maintain relationships with people you don’t even like, or people that stress you out and give you anxiety, etc. For example, if I don’t like some of the moms from my daughter’s soccer team bc they gossip quite cruelly about others, well… I’m kinda out of luck bc they’re going to be in my life for YEARS. And the easiest way to deal with that is to fake friendships with them to maintain the illusion that everything is good. With online friends however, there is always the option to block them if they start becoming toxic or they engage in activities that make you uncomfortable.

5. Diversity. With real-life friends, there are usually many commonalities which bring them together in the first place – either growing up in the same neighborhood, going to the same school, working at the same office, going to the same church, or kids playing on the same soccer team, etc. With online friends on the other hand, no such common origin story exists to bring them together and you’ll end up creating friendships with people from all over the world with a variety of different mindsets, cultures, and experiences. And interacting with these globally diverse people can help us to grow and see ourselves and our situations much more critically.

6. Exploration. There may be a better word for this one, as I’m trying to describe the opposite of #5 above. Sometimes, you just don’t get along with the people in your immediate circles. The first example I can think of… you grow up in a very conservative and religious small town, but you have vastly different interests which are more liberal. So it’s difficult to create and maintain friendships in that situation where you may feel that you don’t fit in anywhere. But online it is much easier to explore different mindsets, as well as seek-out and befriend like-minded individuals.

So that’s my first-pass at creating this list on reasons why online friends are better than real life friends. Definitely let me know your thoughts. Or if there’s anything I can add to improve it.

Love you all, my online friends. xoxo

I do enjoy taking my daughter to new places and seeing her experience things for the first time, and seeing her enjoy herself and her life. I wouldn’t want to miss out on a single instance of that.

But there are also many times where I would prefer to travel alone. In the last several years, I’ve had to travel alone for work and while I didn’t expect to enjoy it at first, I ended up realizing that it suits me very well.

Some of the reasons why I prefer to travel alone…

1. Saves money! This is definitely the case when you are part of a couple or a family (which is my scenario) and usually have to cover expenses for more than just yourself. The only exception to this is when you’re travelling with friends who will split costs with you – especially the lodging costs which are often very expensive.
2. Maximize time! You don’t have to wait on anyone else. You don’t have to wait on others to get ready for the day or deal with their personal matters. If others are slower than you and pokey, it won’t affect you at all.
3. Maximize activities! You don’t have to begrudgingly participate in activities you are not interested in because others want to. Your itinerary is 100% up to you and no compromises are necessary except for scheduling and timing.
4. Make new friends! When you’re travelling with your own family or clique, it’s very easy to silo yourself within your current group. When travelling alone however, you’re more likely to strike up conversations with others that share your same interests, and meet new people who could possibly evolve into friendships!
5. Great for self-confidence! You’re solving your own problems, planning your own schedule and activities, figuring out a new place all on your own, and you learn to LOVE your own company!
6. Indulge in selfishness! Imagine doing what you want, when you want, EATING what you want, and being as lazy or as active as you’d like. This is the ultimate “Me Time”.

So that’s my current list of reasons to travel alone. Perhaps I’ll come up with more reasons to add later. But what do you all think about travelling alone? Have you tried it yet? Do you want to try it?